Subject: alt.smoking.mooses FAQ
Date: Monday, May 31, 1999
Frequently Asked Questions about alt.smoking.mooses
Q: What is alt.smoking.mooses all about?
A: This newsgroup is for discussions about mooses and smoking. Best of all are stories of mooses that actually are out there puffing away. However, these tend to be rare, and so postings about mooses just moosing around are appreciated. If you want to discuss smoking, visit alt.smokers (& the sub-categories).
Q: Is this a moderated newsgroup?
A: "Moderation in the pursuit of moose is no virtue!" Barry M(oose) Goldwater, 1964
Q: How did this newsgroup get started?
A: A long time ago, before everybody and his brother got onto the net, a smoking group for Scandinavians was started... with 'mooses' some sort of indicator for that part of the world*. Alas, after a re-org of newsgroups, this one was left an orphan (gasp!) until re-populated by much more intelligent posters and readers (you may all take a bow).
[*-this is true... no kidding]
Q: What about binaries?
A: An occasional gif might be okay, but please don't clog up the works. For the most part, cleverly written posts are what is expected.
Q: Any subjects off limits?
A: Though this cannot be enforced, posters are strongly discouraged from talking about making money fast, Armenian genocide, how much a buffoon Clinton is, or Y2K.
Q: Is this ng full of lurkers?
A: Yes, hiding behind the drapes.
Q: Does a sense of the absurd help when reading these postings?
A: Are you kidding?
Q: What benefits are there from following a.s.m ?
A: Automatic membership in MENSA after 6 months -- or free lobotomy. (Your choice)
A: This is an open-minded ng, and we are always interested in stories about moose getting it on. Preferred endings have a moose enjoying a post-coital cigarette.
Q: How does this group stack up against the others?
A: Two answers:
1) This ng is among the smallest active ones around.
2) Who cares?
Q: Why don't we get more moose stories from Canada?
A: The government has tried to limit exposure to destabilizing influences, and have made it almost impossible for their citizens to suscribe to this ng. Perhaps they fear that smoking mooses will lead to more forest fires.
Q: What's the deal with dejanews?
A: They don't support this excellent forum (and this is being looked into). Other ng's are similarly slighted ( alt.religion.wombat). It's hit and miss with other news servers. That's surprising, since there is more traffic here than in some "prestige" ng's (like sci.math.symbolic).
Q: What is the typical age of a.s.m readers?
A: Ranges between 16 and 66. We had the stats once, but a moose ate them.
Q: College educated?
A: Looks that way for the most part.
Q: Why isn't this newsgroup involved with Y2K issues?
A: Look, Y1K compliance was a harrowing experience which resulted in bad feelings all around. Whatever happens with Y2K will happen. Though nothing serious is expected, moose are advised to stock up on tobacco, just in case.
Q: What does a moose like to smoke?
A: Pipes appear to be most popular. Cigars smell up the woods, and the other animals get real huffy about it. Cigarettes fall somewhere in the middle, though for some reason menthol are extremely unpopular.
Q: What is the age when moose is most likely to take up smoking?
A: That would be asking.
Q: Is this the end of the FAQ?
Addendum of miscellaneous moose info:
BEANIE BABIES & RELATED====================
There is a Ty Beanie Baby moose named Chocolate which is recently retired but
often still found for sale at primary market prices. Ty also makes a pillow
pal (a larger version of the same pattern) named Antlers which comes in the
original brown and now in a multi-colored version. One of the first Teenie
Beanies promoted by McDonald's was a mini version of Chocolate which, in its
original packaging, is now a premium item. Ty also made a moose in a vest
named Montgomery who is also now retired. Some of the cutest mooses around,
however, are those made by Boyd's; the Bears and Hares people.
OTHER MOOSE PAGES==========================
MOOSENTRATION GAME (For Win95+)============
[1.5 meg, rated as good, though simple]
Back to The moose page