THE DOG PAGE

The earth trembled and a great rift appeared, separating the first man and woman from the rest of the animal kingdom. As the chasm grew deeper and wider, all the other creatures, afraid for their lives, returned to the forest--except for the dog, who after much consideration leapt the perilous rift to stay with the humans on the other side. His love for humanity was greater than his bond to other creatures, he explained, and he willingly forfeited his place in Paradise to prove it. (Native American folktale)

• “Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.” -- Sue Murphy
• “We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made” -- M. Facklam

· “In dog years, I’m dead.” -- Unknown · “A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” -- Robert Benchley · “It’s a dog-eat-dog world; and there’s not enough dog to go around.” -- Babe: Pig in the City

o “To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.” -- Aldous Huxley o “Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies:-quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.” -- Sigmund Freud o “Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!” -- Anne Tyler

o “You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.” -- Nora Ephron o “The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.” -- Anonymous o “Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend; inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” -- Groucho Marx o “Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.” -- Dave Barry o “Dogs need to sniff the ground; it’s how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.” -- Dave Barry

o “I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.” -- August Strindberg o “My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That’s almost $7.00 in dog money.” -- Joe Weinstein o “Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.” -- Gene Hill

o “No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.” -- Fran Lebowitz

o “If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.” -- James Thurber

o There are two dogs inside me: one mean and evil, the other kindly and good. They’re constantly fighting with each other. And whichever one I feed the more, that’s the one that gains the upper hand. (Native American folk wisdom)

o “Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” -- Ann Landers o “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.” -- Robert A. Heinlein o “In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.” -- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan o “Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!” -- Dr. Tom Cat

o “There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.” -- Ben Williams o “When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.” -- Edward Abbey o “Cat’s motto: No matter what you’ve done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.” -- Unknown

• “Dogs need to sniff the ground; it’s how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.” -- Dave Barry
• “There’s facts about dogs, and then there’s opinions about them. The dogs have the facts, and the humans have the opinions. If you want the facts about the dog, always get them straight from the dog. If you want opinions, get them from humans.” -- J. Allen Boone

“He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.” -- Unknown “I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” -- Rita Rudner “No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.” -- Christopher Morley “Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won’t buy the wag of his tail.” -- Unknown “If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.” --Unknown

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” -- Josh Billings “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” -- Andrew A. Rooney “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.” -- Mark Twain

• “I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.” -- Penny Ward Moser

“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.” -- John Steinbeck “Man is a dog’s idea of what God should be.” -- Holbrook Jackson

• “Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane.” -- Smiley Blanton

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Return to Kanyak’s Doghouse

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